How to Not be a Terrible Houseguest

Tis the season to visit friends or more likely "friends" with homes in Nantucket, Napa, or the Hamptons, and while you're at it, you may want to not risk your chances of never getting invited back.  I've had plenty of guests in my miniature apartment over the years, from those who have willingly cleaned the floors to those who have left food (vomit?) out to rot for days after their visit.  Here are a few tips to not ruin your "friendships" and ensure you have a place to stay for summer vacation next year. Get invited here- again and again! Maybe. (credit)

Bring something. Don't arrive empty handed, it's tacky and cheap. You're better off bringing something tacky and cheap, like grocery store cupcakes. Thank your host when you leave, and even send a thank you note or an e-card.  It may sound silly but it's really appreciated and fun to get!

Offer to do errands or chores.  I love errands, so this is kind of a treat for me, but hosts will be super grateful if you offer to help out around the house.  Can you pick up extra paper towels?  Make dinner?  Go on an ice run?  Do it!

Don't hog the remote.  I've had guests who think it's their duty to tell me what to watch.  Um, no.  Let your host dictate your entertainment, and if they're polite, they'll pull a "you're the guest, let's watch what you want" kind of thing.  Then you'll both feel satisfied wasting precious beach hours in front of TLC reality shows.

Clean up. After yourself and the other person. Make sure you put your trash in the trash can and perhaps even take out the empty bag!  You'll certainly be invited back if you a) don't make a mess and b) make things shinier than when you left. Also, if you don't shower all weekend, your hosts will notice.  I guarantee.

Check your hosts schedule beforehand. When people notify me that they're coming to stay and I don't have enough time to prepare in advance, I kind of panic.  I work so many jobs with so many different deadlines, arranging my schedule in advance is super important, and I don't want to feel like I'm neglecting my guests!  If your host has work or a prior engagement, ensure her you'll be okay on your own, because you'll have work or visits of your own to take care of.

Know your budget. If you don't have a lot of money for the weekend, be upfront about it!  Prepare to eat in or do free activities- let your host know early on to prevent any disappointment or embarrassing situations.

Have fun! This probably discredits this post as anything remarkable but seriously, relax and enjoy the visit.  You're not there to mope or complain about your super stressful life, unwind and make the most of your time.

Who will you be?